


so this is love

by angstlairde



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Poe's An Idiot, Protective Poe Dameron, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, rey's a badass, that also needs to be a tag, why isn't that a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 11:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12725547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstlairde/pseuds/angstlairde
Summary: Rey hasn’t felt love in so long, she thinks she’s forgotten what if feels like, how it works.....Poe doesn’t realize he loves Rey, not in the romantic way. It's just - it's been so long since romantic love was in the picture. There was the kind of love he feels for Finn, for Jess, for Paige and Rose, for Leia, for his squadron, and BB-8. But romantic love? It's not a conscious thought, but it manifests itself in ways he doesn't realize.





	so this is love

Rey hasn’t felt love in so long, she thinks she’s forgotten what if feels like, how it works.

But she thinks it might be the sunshiny feeling she gets around Finn, the protective warm feeling she gets with Chewie, the comfortable feelings she gets around Black Squadron.

Rey’s not sure, but she’s pretty sure it’s in the look Leia gives her when she thinks Rey isn’t looking, it’s the reason Han offered her a blaster and a job, the way Jess lets Rey wear her shirts, in the safe feeling she gets around Poe that wraps her up like a blanket.

She knows there’s lots of different kinds of love - there’s the kind of love Poe gives Leia, and the kind of love Poe gives Finn, and the kind of love Poe gives Jess and the squadron, and the kind of love Poe gives Rey. She isn’t sure what kind of love that is, but it is love. She knows she loves Finn, and she loves Chewie, and BB-8, and Leia, and Jess, and Poe. She thinks she might love Luke.

She doesn’t know what kind of love she feels for Poe, but at the end of the day, does it really matter?

Rey doesn’t know that, but she does know Poe’s favorite color (rainbow), that he like crunchy, cinnamon-y squares in milk for breakfast, that his mother died when he was eight, and she’s the reason he became a pilot.

She knows his favorite fruit (koyo melons his father grows), that he’s had BB-8 since he started at the academy, that he’s not interested in sex with just anybody (neither is she).

She knows he feels the exact same kind of thrill she does when they’re flying, knows he feels the sharp rush of adrenaline when they’re shooting down TIEs. It’s not quite the same with Finn - Finn doesn’t fly, but he’s a damn good shot - it’s something different, something they both connect to on a personal level.

She knows he’s always wanted to fly the Falcon, and that when Chewie lets him on board, he savors it. She knows that he’s an expert on the Rebellion, and that his hero is Bodhi Rook (Imperial Defector, The Pilot, and Hero of the Rebellion), and that’s one reason why he trusted Finn (another is that despite everything he’s been through, he’s a very trusting man.)

Is this love, she asks, when she thinks of a joke, and turns to tell Poe, but he isn’t there, and it sticks out like a sore thumb.

So this might be love, she thinks, when his x-wing comes screaming out of the sky, shooting down some troopers that were behind her.

Maybe this love, she thinks, when Poe is lying pale and unconscious, and she’s clutching his hand.

This is probably love, she thinks, when she’s bleeding, and Poe is hauling her down hallways to the Falcon.

This is definitely love, she thinks, curled safe in Poe’s arms at night, with fireworks still shooting off outside in celebration.

 

* * *

 

 

Poe doesn’t realize he loves Rey, not in the romantic way. It's just - it's been so long since romantic love was in the picture. There was the kind of love he feels for Finn, for Jess, for Paige and Rose, for Leia, for his squadron, and BB-8. But romantic love? It's not a conscious thought, but it manifests itself in ways he doesn't realize.

He loves her enough to let her sprawl on his bed and take up most of the room, because she never had to luxury of sprawling in her sleep. He lets her drool on the pillow and doesn’t mention it, and lets her hide her shoes under the bed, and bring home pieces of scrap that should go to recycling, but she keeps in case she needs it. He doesn’t mention it when she uses all the hot water in the shower, because she hasn’t been able to have hot water showers in so long. He lets her bring home little plants she finds and keeps on the window sill, because she loves the plants, and he loves the way she cares for all of them.

Poe loves Rey enough he lets her pick over Black One when she can’t sleep, pulling out parts and replacing them with pieces of scrap she’d fixed and now work better than anything he could get from the spare parts pile. He lets her borrow BB-8, who adores her as much as he does, and it’s something special when he sees his little droid rolling quickly behind her. He lets her wear his jackets all day, because she’s never worn anything like it before and likes the way it feels and smells.

Poe loves Rey so much sometimes he thinks she deserves better than him, a scruffy pilot with issues. She deserves so much more, so much better, someone like Finn, warm, kind, brave Finn, who’s a hero and a Jedi. Who has more in common with Rey than he ever could. Who doesn’t wake up shouting and frantic that this is all just a trick of the mind. Who doesn’t wake early and work late into the night because he is afraid to close his eyes. She should have someone who is gentle and soft to her. Someone who can fight back-to-back with her and not have to risk her life to save them.

Poe loves Rey so much he grows distant, for her, for him, for Finn, for the Resistance - all excuses - all lies. He knows she is hurt, and Finn is angry at him, and he feels like a terrible person, but only throws himself into the Resistance, worrying even Leia Organa. He protects her from the sky, when she’s on the ground with Finn, and can’t help but notice the look she has when she looks at his retreating x-wing. He loves her so much he crashes and nearly dies trying to protect her from Kylo Ren’s ship. When he wakes, she leaning over him and gripping his hand.

Poe loves Rey so much he doesn’t realize he does, until he’s half-carrying her back to the Falcon after her fight with Snoke, and she’s bleeding and there’s a nasty mark on her collarbone where it was touched by a lightsaber. And he realizes that he loves her so much it hurts, and he could never love anyone as much as he loves her. He almost falls over at the realization.

He loves her so much he feels like he can’t hold it all in, and at night when they’re curled up together, he can’t help but tell her so.

Force, does Poe love Rey.

 


End file.
